50%?
Birthdaypalooza was a bonafide grade A success in every sense of the word... I don't think I've ever seen that many people crammed into that apartment (and that is that says a lot, esp from last quarter)-- and people I didn't know! Who just showed up! Unbelievable; I think I said that word roughly around 27 times last night. We couldn't have asked for more, but we got it. And guys, thank you once again for the present, completely a suprise. But it still needs a name!

So, now, after vowing to not give a @#%! these past two days and just enjoy them, I must snap back into things and pick up the last few remaining pieces. I'm not sure if I'll be at Min's tonight, as I have an eight page research paper due Monday that I kinda haven't started yet? Yeesh.
And here's some old, but fitting news (clicky). Two decades down for me, and only two decades more to go? I can't tell if this is Chicken Little screaming at his loudest, like one of those embarrassing things you read from the 50's and 70's that prophesized imminent doom by the year 1980... or if its legit. Hey, its the Guardian, and those Brits are pretty smart. If so, click here for a sneak preview courtesy of Roland Emmerich and Jake Glyeenhall! I can't wait to swim around the Wrigley Building and ski down the Statue of Liberty when I'm 40, can't you?

My Post-Teenage Manifesto
Tomorrow, on March 5th, 2004, I will turn twenty years old. As of tomorrow, I will have spent two solid decades of existence in this world as of 11:37 a.m. I will no longer be considered a child, nor will I ever technically be a teenager. High school and puberty (really?) are past me now, and this is, as so they say, the first step towards becoming an adult; this is where and when it happens. All those conceptions of teenage life I had when I was younger turned out to pretty much false; I never slammed the door in my parents face while they yelled “Because I said so!” to a grungy room full of posters, nor did I ever hang out with Zack, Kelly, and Screech in the burger joint after school. I didn’t do any of those things, and in college I never walked down sunny lawns of Fraternity row and saw Bluto smashing a guitar on the ground. My actual experiences and memories of these places seem false compared to my preconceptions, and when my friend told me “this is your last day as a teenager man!” I felt a deep sense of confusion and loss; as if I had jumped on the wrong boat and I’m sailing miles and miles away from where I should be.
But these things are arbitrary. Why do people make resolutions on New Year’s Eve and not on any other day? Or birthdays for that matter? There’s no intrinsic quality of December 31st that causes for self-examination and change; the day itself is no different than any other day. Why only once a year? It is important though to at least assign some day for self-examination, as to not let every day slide by without notice or thought. My friend’s birthday, which is conveniently a day before mine (today), muttered on the way out to the door “well I wish it was a little warmer for my birthday.” Why must we only wish it outloud on our birthday? Why not everyday?
So here I am, on the verge of things ending, on the last and steepest dip of the slide. Winter quarter is rapidly wrapping up (finals already?!), and I’m writing my last papers, attending my last classes, and wearing those long johns for just maybe the last time. But what strikes me most about where I am are not the endings, but rather the beginnings. I’ll be flying to California in a few days to what seems like an unbelievable trip. I’m working on film and photography ideas that excite me more and more as they grow. Beginnings are always more exciting than endings; and this is the attitude I want to adopt as I turn 20 tomorrow.
However....Ben left, rather cryptically, a message for me, ending it by saying “Hope this is the life you’ve always wanted!” To be honest, it pissed me off. What’s that supposed to mean? What’s does that say? That you can have the life you want right now? Not after fifth grade, not after middle school, not after high school, not after college, not til when everything supposedly culminates in finding a job afterwards, but you be perfectly happy and content with where you are right now? My whole life, I can safely without exaggerating, like any other American young student, seems to be a mad rush in preparation for something; keep working now to get to the next step, and when you get there, you have to make sure you do this and that to get to the next step, and so on and so on. I clearly remember sixth grade teacher Mrs. Scobee popping into class during the last month of fifth grade, laying it on us to start getting serious: sixth grade is only next year! Sixth Grade! And then, in sixth grade, it was to get ready for the big seventh grade, where kids started to grow facial hair and smelly clothes...and all of sudden, it was high school where things got really serious. I remember waiting for it; bracing for future’s slap on the face. But it never came. High school was more of the same, except now, shit, you’ve gotta worry about colleges and moving miles and miles away. This was the ultimate; all of your life has felt like it’s been working to this point: where you gonna go to college? It was never a question of “if” but a necessity of “must.” And now, smack dab in the middle of college, is it any wonder I feel a gnawing disillusionment? The big talked-over shebang never dropped, and now I’m sick of the cyclical wash of quizzes, midterms, papers, finals, and registration. “Hope this is the life you’ve always wanted?” Sure, if someone had really told me that what matters today and this second matters exactly as much when you’re in some office job with diplomas on your wall and kids on your life, sure. I’m not saying future-planning isn’t as important, but what happens when it becomes the life you’ve always lived? What makes life in your twenties more valuable than when you were thirteen?
So, in trying to come up with some response to Ben, I had to say no. It’s not, but in a bizarre sense I don’t even feel like that’s an applicable question: I feel my life hasn’t started yet. And that, to me, is the saddest thing in the world. So, with one last day as a teenager, I say life starts now. Fuck this incessant worry and anxiety about where I’ll be in a few years, and fuck this omnipresent hesitation I’ve felt since grade school. I want to be a better person right now. I want to be the person people remember me by forever at this moment. I want to find everything I want and fix things right now as if this was it. This is it, as of tomorrow I’m forever saying goodbye to being “something-teen.” College should be about yourself, and wanting to be as passionate as you want and drop italics as much as you want.
It's kind of ironic that Mrs. Scobee is now the head Alumni contact, in charge of organizing all the high school reunions and the alumni magazine. And though I never had a friend like Spicoli (well, close maybe) nor had Principal Belding giving me a detention, that is not to say I’ve been disappointed. My experiences have been different in so many incredibly fascinating and curious ways, showing me things and showing me people that have had a profound impact on my life. It’s just a matter of realizing that things can be better than you’ve realized before, and that not everything grows worse and stale. And so I say, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.

Fasho
Wow!, What an unpleasently, failing attempt by Eamon, March 2, 2004
Reviewer: Matt (see more about me) from P.a.
Weather or not its Eamons fault that his album is so awful is beyond the point that he is a one-hit wonder. The album has barely any good tracks, and most of the songs are just mind-filling, poorly produced songs. "FU-K IT" is obviously Eamons only hit that he will have. Yes, just like the Baha Men and "Who Let The Dogs Out", Eamons "FU-K IT" will be his career making and ending hit.

After the damage that this c.d. has done to main stream music, people will move on back to the way rap/hip-hop/soul/r&b was before Eamon. Its also sad that Eamon style resembles Eminems career so much that he is trying to follow in Eminems footsteps. The only problem with that is that Eamon does not drive enough creativity to spark imagination and thats what will drive people away from him. Anyone can sit down and write what he writes on his c.d.

Overall, probably a one-hit wonder artist and a c.d. that will be long and forgotten only to return to the dark mists of wherever the horrific mess of "I Dont Want You Back" came from.


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EAMON (I DONT WANT YOU BACK), March 2, 2004
Reviewer: musik lover (see more about me) from SUMWHURRS
YO NEED I SAY MORE ALL BOUT EAMON???? Y OR N?? CUZ EVRY DAY I COME ON HURR N I ALWAYS SEE Y'ALL HATIN ON HIM! N WHY U HATE N CANT EVEN APPRECIATE HIM?? CUZ HE COMES FROM STATEN ISLAND N.Y N HE STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA.. HE BE DOIN HIS THANG FASHO! N I STILL CANT STOP PLAYEN IT.. AND WHEN I FIRST HEARD DAT I HAD TA GO N BUY IT BUH IT WAS SOLD OUT EVRY WHURR SO HURR IN MURDASOTA EVRY 1 BE REPPIN EAMON!!!!!! SO FASHO DO DA SAME!


Just when I thought radio and MTV couldn't get worse. WOW. I don't want this to be another long and tired damning of radio and the music biz. But all I'll say is this, to anybody who's heard this song, it is a bonafide miracle (in all the wrong ways) that this song is Clear Channel fodder. Someone actually had to listen to this, convince others to throw thousands of money at it, all the while they slash and trash artists because they can't make the singles. Save the RIAA!

Potpourri
State of the Union:
1) Photography is becoming more and more alluring to me. I read through a couple of National Geographic magazines and it blew my mind. Reminds me of collecting Wildlife Fact Cards (anybody remember those?) back in the day and poring over National Geographic every month, looking for the weirdest animal to draw. For the apartment next year, I must remember to bring those binders of W.F.C.'s-- that stuff would be great to have around.
2)Speaking of that, I must first find a freakin' apartment for next year! Diane's putting the pressure on, and I need to decide on all this quick. Clarke Apt's are great and so is Diane, but 660 a month might not be so great. Plus, it'd be nice to live in a house if the guys decide on getting one.
3)Or wait, I could just bring those binders back for Spring Break. Two weeks! Unbelievable-- I can't wait for it. Home will be much needed, and California will be paradise. We will be deep-sea fishing, spending the night on an island, go hiking in the mountains, dive, and hike every day. You can be jealous.
4) Film ideas are burgeoning suddenly and unexpectedly, and I find two potentially fun things slowly but steadily demanding me. DeYoung's and I's animation idea is increasingly picking up steam, and things sound pretty exciting, if not a lot of work (though the good kind). I must also email Dana for a permission number for 380, as Man with the Couch has gotten too much attention and excitement to not develop now. OH man, but also I'll be Video Doc'ing Buskin' and editing that too along with Even if I Told You. Should give me clearer feelings on the whole film situation. Oh, and finally:
5) Birthdaypalooza. Unnerstand?

So yes, but most importantly than any of those, photography is subtly changing things in me. I look at every photo now in magazines completely differently, fully absorbing and focusing. Must subscribe to National Geographic again tomorrow. Summer plans have died once again, and now I'm working on Plan C, which might involve looking to be a photographer's assistant in a paper in Baton Rouge. How unbelievable would that be? It'd kinda be lame to spend another summer in Baton Rouge, especially when nobody will be there anymore. But I don't have any better plans, and doing photography for the summer would be amazing. Anybody got other suggestions? Hm? Buller? Anybody staying for BR for the summer (or a part of it)?

Man with the Couch
Ahh! Yes! Monday is here! Here comes the sun, along with flip-flops, short sleeved shirts, and a smile on my face with thoughts of spring and, hell, I'll be able to spend the day outside without pain! Spring quarter was glorious last year; it was technically my first winter (boy was it a doozy) and I remember how astounded I was coming home for Spring Break and Savannah at how green everything was-- so intensely green with a vibrancy and boldness I hadn't seen in months. But, as I normally do when it's warm in Evanston, I get lost in memories and of people at home... of crashing friend's pools in Baton Rouge, driving to Waffle House with Ben and John with the windows down, Colita, and, of course, tossin' the rang. I must start practicing again, as one hazy night I threw it and ended up about thirty feet away from me in the snow. Yeesh.
And then I realize, wait, I'll be home in exactly two weeks, and then chillin' in California with most of the gang. Winter Quarter is almost over, and that's an amazing/intense thought. These busy weekends have strapped time with rockets. Oh, and despite feeling worthless all weekend gripping for Min's shoot, good people were on set and Nazan and I came up with a pretty interesting fun film idea, inspired by Andy and I bringing the couch to wait for Michel Gondry/ Charlie Kaufman tickets at Norris (and not the Bukowski stories Zach lent me on set... though it'd be pretty funny if I could cram some of those ideas into it. Actually, probably not). It'll hopefully make full use of the great city of Chicago, and if things work out right, I will have a very productive spring quarter.
I'm on a Motown kick right now, and when you're listening to Motown, everything seems a bit brighter. Also got a heads up that good news for people who like bad news leaked, and it definitely delivers on "Float On's" promise. Also, I'm going to scan some drawings and post them soon, probably tonight or tomorrow. Now I'm wondering whether I should stop by Central Camera and the Apple store downtown (iPod still down & out), or stay in Evanston and enjoy the weather. Um, yes, I think the weather wins. Oh, did I mention March 5th is in 4 days...? On a Friday...?